I’d like that start by saying that it’s not you it’s me, but that would be disingenuous. It’s not so much that you’ve changed, dear Facebook. It’s that you won’t stop changing. And because of this, I think it’s time for us to start seeing other social networks. Or maybe I might just be unsocial for a while.
I’m used to you changing, I almost rather expect it. One day one button will do this, the next day it will do that. I know that you are seeking to continuously improve yourself. And I understand that you fear all those younger, fresher, more attractive looking social networks out there. But I’ve reached about the threshold I can stand of your antics, and constant preening.
But wait, I hear my friends cry, you can put everything back to how it was. I don’t care. I don’t have the energy any more Facebook. The fact of the matter I’m your sugar daddy. You make plenty of money off me, even if you are free. And in return all I ask for it to stop shifting all my things around. Maybe even let me opt in for once, rather than having you tell me what’s best for me.
You send me email to tell me that you’re about to do exciting new things that mean I’ll get less email from you. Guess what? You never emailed me before that. I’m tied of opting out, changing, switching, hunting through options that used to be there a week ago, and have now moved to a place where you think I’ll find them more easily. I’ll thank you at least for keeping me in touch with all my friends, work colleagues and friends, but you know what? Most have my cellphone number and my email address, and know how to get in touch with me outside of our relationship.
Maybe I’ll see how you’re doing in a week or two. Maybe a month. But for now, I think it’s time we parted ways. I’ve packed all your bookmarks and alerts into that bag over there. I’ll be filing all your mail into my spam folder for now. Just leave your keys on the bench.